A Perspective on Aging | Elder Care Home Health Blog

I asked one of my writers to do something unusual, to produce an article about his perspective and personal experience with aging.Here is his response:The Good And The Not-So-Good Things About The Affair Of Aging: A First-Person AccountMy Early Preoccupations with Old AgeWhat would it be like being old? What would old age be like? I used to be intrigued by the affair of turning old and my preoccupation with it began no later than when I was in my late thirties.In short, I tried to imagine what life would be like when I crossed the threshold of sixty, or seventy: when I would no longer need to turn up at work every day when our children would be adults already and would likely go out and find their place in the world, when I could head out for the porch, newspaper and my morning cup of coffee in hand, and could spend the whole day there if I so wished.It was not exactly that I was afraid of turning old, but all the same, there was a certain anxiety involved in my ruminations about old age.I was anxious about feeling bored, bout solitude, loss of patience, memory, youth, mind, strength in my muscles and so on; about feeling lonesome; and above all perhaps, I was anxious about the physical aspect of getting oldall the pains that would almost invariably set in with the onset of old age.I ought also to mention here that when I did think of old age, it was not always in negative terms alone.

I also pondered about the advantages that old age could potentially bring, such as settling down to an easier lifenow free from the pressures of work-life, not having to constantly worry about the future of our kids, and so on.Then and NowWell now that I have already made my way to that ripe old age (I am 71 now, by the way), I look back to many of my former deliberations on old age and I could tell you that while certain of my guesses or anticipations were not too far from what reality actually is right now, I was awfully amiss on certain other aspects.But before I go into all that, I believe a little self-introduction would not be out of place here.I was born and brought up in NYC, and I have lived all my life in this coastal town and in the same house that my father bought when he relocated here from Homestead, Florida at the age of thirty-one.I got married when I was 26 and we had two kids, a boy, and a girl.

In my professional life, I worked in the capacity of a communications consultant and for the last thirty years of my working life, I had been in the payroll of an education technology firm.I was fond of painting when I was in school but ever since I went to college, I had had little time to devote to it, and slowly, the passion itself faded away (secretly though, I always cherished the thought that I would take it up again someday in the future, albeit without the least idea as to when that day would present itself if it ever did).On the other hand, I developed a strong passion for surfing when in college and had ever since remained a passionate surfer, until about four years ago when I had to give it up (much to my chagrin) following the advice of my physician.Anyway, to go back to my former discussion on my reflections about old age and about things that I didnt get quite right.

One is my apprehension about physical infirmity and loss of vitality.During my last years in work, although I was quite alright as far as my health was concerned, I was still in the habit of perusing bits of gerontological literature now and then.And they made me aware of some almost inevitable biological effects of aging including slow impairment of hearing and sight, constant pain from many different forms of chronic arthritis, and othersin general, suffering from a sort of instability and a loss of balance.However, now I strongly feel that I wouldve been better off without reading any of that stuff.

And thats because while all of those effects of aging mentioned in those pieces of literature were quite on the mark, one crucial thing they almost invariably failed to mention is that those symptoms of old age do not strike one all of a sudden, out of the blue, so to speak.If it was so, that would undoubtedly be quite unnerving.However, since those changes occur as a gradual process, we adapt.

It is true that I am still only 67 and the late old age is still to come.All the same, I am prepared not to think about beforehand anything that may go wrong in the future.I have made up my mind to handle them as and when they come.Things I Miss Most in This Advanced AgeMost of all, both my wife and I miss spending time with our kids.

The thing is, contrary to what happens in many households, in many American households anyway, we were quite together and intact as a family unit even after the kids began attending college.We would take camping trips together; holiday seasons like Easter or Christmas were full of joy and fun and the house would be teeming with people, with both our son and daughter inviting their close friends; on weekends, I would go surfing and fishing with my son.However, now that the kids are here no more (my son is settled in Austin while my daughter, now married, is living with her own family at Cedar Lawn), things do feel a good deal lonely at times.Of course, we knew that this was going to happen sooner or later.

All the same, it hurts when my son cannot make it for Christmas due to work obligations.Our daughter, on the other hand, checks on us whenever she gets time (it is a fortunate thing for us that she lives nearby).Yet, and despite the fact that we have got accustomed to it, there are still times when the house feels too big and empty, especially when my wife and I get to reminisce about the times that were!And, I miss surfing.

Right from the time when I was 25 till about four years ago, I always used to go surfing at the 47th Street jetty and at the Pleasure Pier.Then, once my son grew up, he used to accompany me and he became quite good at it, too.And even later, when he was in his late teens, we would rest at the beach during our surfing bouts and talk about all kinds of things.

So, when my doctor told me four years ago that I had to stop surfing (apparently my heart is not in the perfect tip-top condition, and to continue surfing could worsen things), that was a major blow.And finally, I miss my wifes cooking.The thing is she developed a case of acute arthritis about two years ago due to a nervous breakdown she suffered (I would skip the details here).However, ever since then, although she can still move around the house and all (albeit with some difficulty), she has been proscribed any and all kinds of housework.

Now, as for me, I am handy with preparing breakfast and things, but not when it comes to cooking real meals.And so, it has been arranged that a nice young lady from a local home care aide service visits our house thrice a week.She prepares meals in large batches, does the laundry, and, although she is not obliged to do so, she still helps with various other small housework stuff.Even more importantly, she makes it a point of spending some time with my wife every time after she has finished her chores and this despite the fact that she is quite busy herself, what with managing her job and family, and so on.

And more than anything, I appreciate the company she provides my wife, especially since my wife cannot go out all too often due to her present condition.Advantages That Old Age Has Brought To MeThis may not be true for all people, but personally, I do like the fact that I no longer need to present myself at a certain place (namely, my office) every day at a specific hour.Not that I disliked my work or there was any real pressure involved with the job.On the contrary.

I actually liked the easy-going atmosphere of my office and I still miss my colleagues at times.All the same, I feel like I have done my time there and am perfectly happy to be off the work-wagon.(So, after all, I was right in my reflection about being able to enjoy my freedom once I would be let off the hook, free now from the pressures and responsibilities of the work-life).

Generally speaking, I, in fact, believe most people my age (barring the most zealous workaholics) would feel the same, i.e., as long as their financial position is secure enough.So, aftAnother thing I value highly is that both my wife and I have been able to forge new relationships with our old-time neighbors.For instance, the first time we had been to our local community center, we got to meet two of our neighbors, living just across the block from our place, and yet with whom we had almost little to no contact during all these past decades.

So, apart from the activities we take part in at the center and which we no doubt enjoy, I feel the biggest takeaway from our frequenting the place has been these newly-forged relationships and friendships with and in our immediate community.And finally, I must mention that my old age has given me the opportunity to get reconciled with my youthful passion, namely, my passion for painting.Although I still miss my surfing, in a way I feel the prohibition has been a blessing in disguise.That is since it has given me the time to take up painting again.

And the good thing is that now while I paint, I feel no pressure at all (of ambition, etc.).I just pursue it for the joy it brings me.And I would take the liberty to end this account with the information that some of my paintings have already been exhibited at a mixed-form exhibition arranged at our community center.

Of course, it was nothing much but most people present at the exhibition, including my wife, seemed to have genuinely liked my workthat did mean a lot to me.It is a new perspective and newfound wisdom in my old-aged body.Whether in Texas or here in Florida, having a home care aide is a good idea, to ease the burdens of aging and caregiving.In Broward, or Palm Beach counties, contact Boca Home Care Services at (561) 989-0611.

For home care services in Miami-Dade, contact Miami Home Care Services at (305)749-0445